Who Knew Surrender Could Feel So Good?

Posted by Ann Deaton Share Your Voice

I have never been a big fan of Surrender. I tend to see Surrender as something that comes from a position of weakness, and I can imagine that if I surrender, I am a failure. And yet, there are more times than I can count that I have faced circumstances beyond my control. At times like these, does it make sense to try to control things and wish for something that ISN'T? Or is surrender to what IS a more powerful choice?

For the answer, I went to one of my favorite resources--the dictionary. And there, I found both clarity and confusion because "surrender" is defined as many different things:

1. to yield to the power, control, or possession of another (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
2. resignation; acceptance of despair (wordnetweb.princeton.edu)
3. to relinquish possession or control of (thefreedictionary.com)

I am willing to relinquish control (definition #3) when that makes sense, and I'm also usually able to yield my power to another (definition #1) when they have skills or experience I lack. Accepting despair, however, as suggested in the second definition, is something I rarely, almost never, choose to do. As I write this, I realize it is validation yet again of the wisdom of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity prayer:

God, grant me the Serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

the Courage to change the things I can;

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

And for me, that final line means that when I cannot change something, the best, wisest, and most powerful thing I can do is to Surrender. Having Surrender in my toolbox offers yet another tool. It does not suggest that I am weak. Rather, it means I am both flexible and courageous.

What does Surrender offer me today? If I let go of control and trusted, I'd:

• accept that our aging dog takes 15 minutes to walk to the corner and home again
• let go of the notion that I can do everything myself
• understand that this day, like so many others, has but 24 hours

What might Surrender offer to you?

⇐ Previous Post: Who Knew Surrender Cou... Next Post: A courageous leader's ... ⇒

Ann Deaton I am a leadership coach, and Managing Partner in Bounce. I love to coach and facilitate with individuals and systems experiencing significant change and growth. The clients I work with, regardless of their age or position, are talented and creative individuals willing to look with fresh eyes at their challenges and opportunities, and to take action based on their discoveries. As a result, they find that they are capable of accomplishing far greater things than they ever imagined. What do you want to accomplish today? Who do you want to be?