Seeing the Whole, and Being at Choice

Posted by Ann Deaton Share Your Voice

“Mom, look at my face. What’s wrong with me?” our 19 year old son asked on the night before he was to head back to college. I looked at him and could see the pink and puffy swelling of his cheek. I remembered his dentist’s prediction weeks earlier that a repaired tooth might later need a root canal. What timing for this to happen the night before Nicholas went back to school! Who had time for a dental emergency in the midst of the frantic packing and last minute purchases for our son’s first apartment?

That was one side of the story anyway. It would be easy to focus on everything negative in this scenario:

• a young man in pain
• one more thing to add to the list of “to do’s” in an unbelievably short amount of time
• finding a way to get an antibiotic and schedule a dentist’s appointment after 10 at night
• worrying about our son’s health

Yet that would not be the whole story. Strangely enough, I was also aware of how many positive aspects there were in this situation. Taking a step back I noticed:

• a son who is both aware of his health and courageous when facing pain and discomfort
• the fact that we have the necessary money for treatment of his infected tooth
• the awareness that even as our son goes out on his own, he trusts and relies on us to help him in emergencies.

Maybe it’s not the way I would choose to notice how blessed we are, but notice I did.

What about you? Where in your life and work are you focusing on only one part of the picture? To see the situation more completely, try the following:

1. Take a step back and consider the opposite perspective.
2. Make a list of both the upside and downside of this situation. Creating a picture of the whole situation will open possibilities you had not seen before.
3. Choose the perspective that enables you to move forward most effectively.
4. Notice the energy, new possibilities, and the motivation to act that you have when you take the time to see the whole.

⇐ Previous Post: Seeing the Whole, and ... Next Post: A moment of truth on t... ⇒

Ann Deaton I am a leadership coach, and Managing Partner in Bounce. I love to coach and facilitate with individuals and systems experiencing significant change and growth. The clients I work with, regardless of their age or position, are talented and creative individuals willing to look with fresh eyes at their challenges and opportunities, and to take action based on their discoveries. As a result, they find that they are capable of accomplishing far greater things than they ever imagined. What do you want to accomplish today? Who do you want to be?