We or They? The Challenge of Accountability in Everyday Life and Work

Posted by Ann Deaton Share Your Voice

Our son is home from college for the holiday, and I have to admit that I am amazed at how much he has matured. He has such ownership for the work he is doing and the grades he is earning, as well as his continuing commitment to an always-active social life. It's such a stark contrast to the times that, as he was growing up, he would comment:

• That teacher wasn't fair to give me that grade.
• I don't know how my room got so messy.
• You should have reminded me to do that.

After the many and colorful excuses that peppered his childhood, I am noticing that in his early adulthood our son is taking personal responsibility. And that warms my mother's soul, just as it nurtures my hopes for a world in which we all are accountable for our actions.

What difference would it make if we all owned our part of every interaction, every misunderstanding, every problem? I imagine that there would be an amazing sense of ease, a sharp increase in productivity, and a deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that we are each bringing our best to each day. I picture:

• restaurants in which every server strives to make any issue right instead of offering excuses about who didn't show up today or a problem in the kitchen
• schools in which parents, teachers, students, and community members work together to prepare our young people for the future instead of focusing on what's wrong--test scores, misbehaving kids, or overcrowded classrooms
• a Congress in which each member fully owns his/her decisions as a representative of a constituency s/he pledged to serve, and not to further personal interests nor those of a specific party
• a society in which we all take responsibility for personal health and excellence, and where we notice and respond to the needs of others--whether it is letting someone merge into the flow of traffic or engaging a fussy toddler as his parent tries to put groceries on a conveyor belt in the store

In short, the notion of personal accountability enables me to picture a world of "we" instead of "us-them". And I love that notion, that possibility.

Yet we aren't there yet. An article on Entrepreneur.com this morning offers some telling examples of the us versus them mentality and its cost. Not only is it clear that taking personal responsibility is key to customer satisfaction; it is also essential to employee engagement. The "we" is far more powerful than the "us" vs. "them".

I know that it doesn't happen all at once, and yet each time one of us holds ourselves accountable we take a huge step towards our shared responsibility for a better world. This morning I am grateful that our 19 year old son has mastered some of the basics of personal accountability. I love that! And I am committed to consciously owning my own actions and seeing what I can do rather than pointing fingers when things aren't right. So if you hear me saying "I can't..." or "They didn't...", please feel free to gently ask me "So what will YOU do about that?"

⇐ Previous Post: We or They? The Challe... Next Post: The beauty of staying ... ⇒

Ann Deaton I am a leadership coach, and Managing Partner in Bounce. I love to coach and facilitate with individuals and systems experiencing significant change and growth. The clients I work with, regardless of their age or position, are talented and creative individuals willing to look with fresh eyes at their challenges and opportunities, and to take action based on their discoveries. As a result, they find that they are capable of accomplishing far greater things than they ever imagined. What do you want to accomplish today? Who do you want to be?